Former English skipper Lewis Moody has revealed he has been identified with motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet deal with the full implications of the muscle-degenerating condition that claimed the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was involved in the 2003 championship side and secured multiple English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast 14 days after learning he has the condition.
"There's something about looking the future in the face and being reluctant to completely absorb that at the minute," he stated.
"It isn't that I fail to comprehend where it's progressing. We understand that. But there is absolutely a hesitation to confront the future for now."
Moody, talking alongside his wife Annie, explains conversely he feels "peaceful" as he directs his attention to his current welfare, his family and getting ready for when the illness worsens.
"Perhaps that's surprise or possibly I deal with matters in another way, and when I have the information, it's more manageable," he added.
Initial Symptoms
Moody found out he had MND after noticing some lack of strength in his shoulder while working out in the gym.
After rehabilitation was ineffective for the condition, a series of scans showed neural pathways in his brain and spinal cord had been affected by MND.
"You're given this medical finding of MND and we're rightly quite affected about it, but it's quite odd because I think everything is fine," he added.
"I don't sense sick. I don't feel poorly
"The signs I have are rather minimal. I have a bit of muscle wasting in the fingers and the upper arm.
"I continue to be capable of accomplishing whatever I want. And hopefully that will continue for as long as is attainable."
Condition Advancement
MND can advance quickly.
As per the non-profit MND Association, the illness kills a third of people within a year and over half within 24 months of identification, as ingestion and inhalation become increasingly challenging.
Therapy can only retard decline.
"It isn't ever me that I experience sorrow for," stated an emotional Moody.
"It's about the sorrow around having to tell my mum - as an only child - and the implications that has for her."
Household Effect
Conversing from the residence with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was consumed with emotion when he spoke about breaking the news to his sons - teenage Dylan and 15-year-old Ethan - the traumatic news, commenting: "That represented the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
"They're two excellent boys and that was quite devastating," Moody stated.
"We sat on the sofa in crying, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog bounded over and started licking the drops off our faces, which was quite silly."
Moody said the focus was staying in the present.
"We have no treatment and that is why you have to be extremely strongly focused on just welcoming and appreciating all aspects now," he stated.
"As Annie said, we've been really blessed that the primary choice I made when I left playing was to spend as much period with the kids as attainable. We can't reclaim those periods back."
Player Connection
Top-level competitors are unevenly affected by MND, with research suggesting the rate of the illness is up to sixfold higher than in the general population.
It is thought that by reducing the oxygen obtainable and producing damage to nerve cells, regular, strenuous training can trigger the disease in those inherently genetically susceptible.
Rugby Professional Life
Moody, who won 71 England caps and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was called 'Mad Dog' during his playing career, in honour of his fearless, relentless method to the game.
He participated through a fracture of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once sparked a training-ground altercation with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he left a practice gear and commenced participating in tackles.
After appearing as a substitute in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he secured a ball at the back of the set piece in the critical moment of play, establishing a base for scrum-half Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to score the victory-securing drop kick.
Backing System
Moody has already informed Johnson, who skippered England to that title, and a couple of other former players about his condition, but the rest will be discovering his news with the remainder of public.
"We'll have a moment when we'll need to rely on their backing but, at the moment, just having that type of love and recognition that people are present is what's important," he commented.
"Rugby is such a wonderful group.
"I said to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even when it finished now, I've enjoyed all of it and accepted all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"Being able to consider your enthusiasm your profession, it's one of the most significant privileges.
"To have done it for so extended a period with the groups that I did it with was a delight. And I know they will want to help in whatever way they can and I anticipate having those talks."
